Arch your left eyebrow if you have witnessed a workplace conflict that destroyed productivity and tore relationships asunder. Now, keep it raised if you’ve seen a conflict that ultimately improved workflow and enhanced relationships.

Of course we’ve all experienced the former, and that’s the story of conflict on which we fixate. But the second scenario, healing and growth, is also universal. Conflict can and does bring people closer together and focuses them on their joint mission.

If you want to engage in healthier conflict, then it’s helpful to consider the five potential approaches to managing conflict. First, though, you need a foundation for understanding these styles of dispute resolution.

We all care about two things when we are involved in disagreements:

1. Substance: The issues at play within the dispute matter to you. For example, you want the proposed departmental reorganization to retain certain functions of your unit.

2. Relationships: You want constructive relationships and connections with the colleagues on whom you depend.

Here are the five archetypal options for managing conflict, some of which are more effective than others. Each of these options takes into consideration the substance-versus-relationship quandary:

1. Avoidance: This approach is non-confrontational and ignores or downplays issues. An avoider will deny that an issue is a problem. If you use this style to manage conflict, the message you send is, “I don’t care about you or the issue.”

2. Accommodate: With this conflict management option, agreeable, non-assertive behavior is the default. The accommodator cooperates at their own expense or at the expense of pursuing their personal goals. The message is, “I care more about this relationship than I care about getting my needs met.”

3. Compete: This approach involves assertive and even confrontational behavior animated by a win/lose mentality. The competer chooses to win at any cost. This sends the message that “I care more about getting my way than I care about our relationship.”

4. Compromise: This option leverages aggressive but cooperative behavior rooted in the belief that both parties should achieve their basic goals and maintain adequate relationships. It is often characterized by the adage “let’s split the pie in half.” The message is, “I am willing to meet you halfway on both our relationship and the issues.”

5. Collaborate: This approach is simultaneously assertive and cooperative, and it affirms that both parties’ needs are legitimate and important. The practitioner of this conflict management approach believes in both getting their way and in maintaining mutual respect. The message you send with this option is, “I care about the relationship and the issues in dispute.”

Hopefully, you’ve lowered your eyebrow by now. And, hopefully, you have insights about how to engage in conflict to both get what you need and maintain positive connections.

For more information on successful collaborations and workplace conflict resolution, contact In-Accord today!