A mediator is like a scientist in that we observe, build a hypothesis about what’s occurring, and then test it.

Example: You are mediating for two employees fighting over different approaches to shared tasks. One is “laid back” and the other is “rigid.”

Marcus says, “You can’t always say, “We’ll get it done soon” and then not do anything about it. We need to make decisions now! What’s our plan to get there?”

As the conflict resolver, you theorize that the speaker seeks order and predictability. So, you test your hypothesis with an intervention such as: “It sounds like what you need from Elena is an orderly process for managing workflow and decision making. Is that accurate?”

Then, like a successful lab technician, you allow real-world results to provide an answer. 

If they affirm your idea and follow-up question, then you have identified an important interest for this party. You can then build and test the next logical series of theories that emerge from your starting point. 

In this case, you might say, “What steps would you like to see that will meet your need for structure, while also being doable for Elena?”

Of course, it’s equally possible that the speaker may shoot down your theory. He may retort, “It’s not so much about the process, it’s about her dismissive attitude when I try to work through things like missed deadlines with her.” 

This is excellent and nothing is lost. You appropriately floated an idea, received feedback, and now have more information to refine your approach.

You might then say, “Thanks for clarifying that you’re most concerned about how these issues affect your relationship rather than any specific process for working on projects together.”

It goes as you thread one hypothesis to another and work your way through the disputants’ concerns while testing ideas, gathering feedback, refining your approach, and slowly building towards a resolution that resolves their concerns.

As a side benefit, you may also stumble upon a solution that finally unifies the currently disparate theories of quantum mechanics and gravity.